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有沒有聽過德瑞克方程式（Drake Equation)? 那是用來尋找外星文明的方程式， 發明於1960年。德瑞克通過此方程式計算并樂觀的推斷，在我们银河系中存在着大量的智能生命，只要我們擁有能夠進行星際探索的文明技術，那我們就可以找到他們。

如果利用這個方程式樂觀地計算遇到真愛的機率，你猜會得到什麽答案？記得，是樂觀地計算。

答案是 1/285,000。也等於 0.0000035。如果用工程系數學來註釋，那就是 3.5x10^-6。這個答案，是經過樂觀計算后得到的。

糟了，那是不是表示我永遠都遇不到真愛？ 那就要看你對真愛的定義是什麽。

如果說你對真愛的定義是找個約會可以很紳士地幫你開車門，去逛街時幫你提包包的男生、那我可以告訴你、你需要的只是一個人陪你過日子。當你第一次替我開車門時，我希望你可以貼心地永遠替我開車門、而不是大家熟絡之後埋怨我在車上磨磨蹭蹭還不快點自己下車。 逛街時替我提包包我也希望你是真心的，而不是爲了討我一時的歡心。

如果說你對真愛的定義是有個人可以把你當成是他的生活中心，一切事情以你為主，那我告訴你，你需要的只是一個粉絲，而且不用多久，你就會對他感到厭倦。真愛，應該讓彼此成長。

換個角度，所謂的真愛，難道只是局限在男女之間的愛嗎？ 那家人之間的愛，朋友之間的愛，就不是愛哦？同樣的，那就要看你對真愛的定義是什麽了。

如果你可以把身邊的人對你的愛也當做是真愛而擁抱大愛，那 1/285000 就可以變成 285000/285000 了。 不是嗎？ 情人節，在英文叫做 Valentine's Day, 而不是 Lover's Day 或者 Partner’s Day. 爲什麽？因為這天，是要把愛傳染給每一個人，包括你的家人、親戚、朋友還是路邊的甲乙丙丁。 是華人把它翻譯成 '情人節’， 搞到沒伴侶的人只能在這天自己在家裡可憐兮兮地看電視吃爆米花。

所以，請把愛傳給每個你認識的人吧！

今年的情人節和春節在同一天，真難得。

發現到市場上多數都在賣過年的賣品，而情人節的就寥寥無幾地在商場的角落里被擺上三兩個。就連我國有名的《星洲日報》都決定了今天的特別主題副刊將捨弃情人節。理由很簡單， 愛你的人，會提醒你過年要回家，而不是陪他。 如果這麼重要的華人日子他都不能讓你回到家人身邊，那你就必須三思你和他的未來發展。

春節，其實就是讓人回家探望家人的一個好理由。 我自認是一個很獨立的人，但同時我也戀家。 每逢過年過節，打電話回家找媽媽的次數就會增加。 以前很少看重華人的每一個節日，但是現在，總覺得這種日子，應該和家人一起過。 哪怕只是個很簡單的端午節、中秋節還是冬至。

人類就是這樣。 總是要等到東西不再是那麼垂手可得時，才會珍惜。以前每每看到關於遊子思鄉的文章時，就很好奇爲什麽一個人會那麼的想家？ 一直到了自己也加入遊子這個行列時，才能深深體會到他們的感受。我可以一個人吃飯、逛街、工作、讀書、看電影、打理生活。。。我可以很努力地過好每一天，也因為我的努力而在外面過得越來越好，但這並不代表我沒在想家。

“受不了外面，那就回家度個假吧。” 這次會臨時臨急打了張機票回家過年，也是因為媽媽在電話的另一邊對我說了這一番話。

春節，真的比情人節還要重要。

Sitting firmly behind her working table with her neatly-refined makeup and baju kurung that looked expensive, she crossed her fingers and rested her arms on her table. The documents in her office were well-documented and stacked neatly on her table, everything seemed to be placed at their right places. The atmosphere of her office was of tension and a sense of authority.

"So, how may I help you?" She broke the silence after I greeted her and sat in one of the two chairs in front of her table. She was on the phone when I entered. I was somewhat suppressed from speaking as I looked into her eyes that showed discipline and order, just like the eyes of the infamous editor in 'The Devil Wears Prada".

"I would like to ask you a favour," I spoke in Bahasa Malaysia. She was in deep thought after I told her my situation and request.

"Well then, I think I would call in my assistant to listen together," she replied. She then summoned her assistant, a middle age man who looked friendlier and relax. As both of them listened attentively to me, I saw her tightened eyebrows loosen and changed to that of heartfelt concern as I talked about my conflict with my coursemates. She suggested me a lot of solutions and asked if I would like to take any of those into consideration. We had a discussion for about 10 minutes.

"I respect your decision, just tell me if you need anymore help," her tone was that of a caring elder. I thought the conversation had came to its end and was about to leave her office when she stopped me and continued talking, this time it was more like a chat.

"I think that's just plain normal for young adults to have conflicts. You people are young and energetic and so full of hope. You think the world revolves around you, your words should be heard, your stand made clear and you would fight sword with sword if you felt threatened. That's young adults," she said. I fell silent.

"But things will look different after you reach my age, when you start thinking of death. Well, I'm not trying to terrify you but that's just what you do when you're as old as me. Suddenly, all the conflicts and quarrels will look.... meaningless."

"Don't worry too much, things will get better. When the time comes, you will be happy that you've made a wise choice back then. And trust me, you will laugh at yourself when that time comes, for being so....like a young adult," she gave me a big smile after that.

"Oh, by the way, I think it may be your luck! I've bought something that I couldn't use when I went travelling the other day. I would like to give it to you, just treat it as my gift for your Chinese New Year celebration. Take this," she talked while walking to her cabinet and took out some red boxes. She opened the boxes in front of me and it was a lady short purse, just like the one I wanted.

"I'll get you a bag to carry it," her assistant offered and walked out from the office to fetch me the bag. I was shocked and touched at the same time. I walked into her office with a worried and sad face, but walked out with a smile.

A lady like her could have chosen to ignore me in the first place. In fact, I would not be surprised to find an officer with greater authority in the academic office to ignore an insignificant student like me, but she chose to spare her time for me. A person like her, who would give advices and gifts to a complete stranger, gives me hope.

May she be blessed by God.

這個文章是從這裡轉帖的。

01.慢慢的才知道,太在乎别人了往往会伤害自己

02.慢慢的才知道,对自己好的人会随着时间的流逝越来越少,

03.慢慢的才知道,一个人要自己对自己好,因为真正关心你的人很少,有了事他们也不一定会在你身边。所以要自己照顾自己

04.慢慢的才知道,真心对一个人好不一定有回报,而你忽略的人往往有可能是最重视你的,

05.慢慢的才知道,很多东西是可遇而不可求的,很多东西只能拥有一次,

06.慢慢的才知道,恋爱不一定是真心的,有可能是利益关系,有可能是攀比心理,

07.慢慢的才知道,不要和别人争论什么,因为那是没有结果的,无论谁对谁错,

08.慢慢的才知道,很多时候自己遇到不开心事,千万不要渴望别人同情,大多数人会采取冷漠回敬的。那样会更让人家看不起,

09.慢慢的才知道,有很多东西是不属于你的,你使劲强求会遭天遣的,

10.慢慢的才知道,未必做每件事情都有意义,可是做的每件事情都觉得是一件回忆!

11.慢慢的才知道,人的性格可以差异到如此之大,

12.慢慢的才知道,许多曾经的人会变的让你认不出,但请留住回忆。

13.慢慢的才知道,从现在开始应该把握每一个你能把握的人,放弃你留不住的人,不要因为想留住个别人而失去一群人。

14.慢慢的才知道,自己一定在乎自己的自尊,但你的自尊在别人眼里根本不算什么,

15.慢慢的才知道,不要心情不好的时候对周围人发脾气,渴望他们谅解你,人家不是你的父母,现在你可以明白父母对自己多么重要,

16.慢慢的才知道,即便有人对情感看的无所谓,你一定要坚信,人之间的感情,有可能会令所有东西都无法超越的,但记住,只是有可能,

17.慢慢的才知道,原来现实如此的无奈。

18.慢慢的才知道,会遇到许多自己看不惯的人或事,但那与你无关,别人爱咋整随他便,别生不该生的气,不值,

20.慢慢的才知道,两个天天在一起的人不一定是朋友,有可能什么都不是,

21.慢慢的才知道,会遇到很多诱惑,无论别人怎么样,你是你,你有你的原则和底限,

22.慢慢的才知道,会有人很讨厌你或者和你过不去,但是他爱怎么样就怎么样,我们要大度,不和小人计较,但前提是你正确,

23.慢慢的才知道,很多人无法理解男女之间的朋友关系,在一起就一定是恋人,不是恋人就一定不能在一起,

24.慢慢的才知道,学习要刻苦,因为凭聪明就能应付考试科目的人是凤毛翎角,

25.慢慢的才知道,原来时间一空闲下来是那么无聊,丝毫没有中学的充实的感觉,

26.慢慢的才知道,手机是别人有事找你的时候用的,并不是为了交流感情的

27.慢慢的才知道,可以不把所有人当朋友,但千万不能把一个人当敌人,至少可以当同学,

28.慢慢的才知道,玩你能玩的起的,玩不起的千万别玩,不然会输了什么都没有的,

29.慢慢的才知道,快乐常常来自回忆,而痛苦常常来自于回忆与现实的差距,

30.慢慢的才知道,那些嘻哈打闹只是消遣而已,而过往的抽烟打架更是无知.

31.慢慢的才知道,有很多人的想法与做法你无法理解,或是根本不知道他在想什么,千万别在那揣摩或者瞎猜,那样会让自己累,既然人家要保持神秘感那就让人家保持去啊,自己又不是占卜师,

32.慢慢的才知道,不要把自己想的有多高,没有绝对性的胜利,也没有绝对性的失败

33,慢慢的才知道,生活是有很多不公平的,你一定要正视,相信实力和群众的眼睛,

34.慢慢的才知道,兄弟情义有时候未必是想像的那么美好,只有自己真心付出,才有可能得到别人的真心对待.

35.慢慢的才知道,有的人不断的算计,到头还来是会输的很惨,所以应当保持一个平和的心!

36.慢慢的才知道,有的事情不是自己所愿意的,但是有的事情必须得去完成,那也是对自己的一段特训.

37,慢慢的才知道,原来两个人在一起或真或假,相处的时间还是占据着重要成份.

38.慢慢的才知道,现实根想法的差距,必须要随机应变,跟上生活的步伐!

39.慢慢的才知道,自己也在慢慢长大,不在是小孩子了,适应着每一件事的成长.

40.慢慢的才知道,不要把自己想的有多高,没有绝对性的胜利,也没有绝对性的失败.

41 慢慢的才知道，给人留一线日后好相见 的真正意义,没有永远的敌人只有永远的朋友,凡事不要做的太绝,事情的结局都是用嘴巴说出来的.

42.慢慢的才知道,不管玩的多好的朋友都有可能失去,但是我们还是要乐观面对,若是真的把他(她)当作自己的朋友就应该为他(她)祝福.遥望!只是做自己所做的.

This is another thing that I have found in my old blog. I cannot believe that I used to post this up, it was in 2007, I was just in high school.

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for,
but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny,
but to accept.

To "let go" it not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes,
and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less,
and love more.

This is an old post which I used to post up in one of my old blogs. I've decided to 'revive' it again since it's really meaningful.

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers.

While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Catherine Lim is a well-celebrated writer based in Singapore. Although Singapore is very near to Malaysia, I am sorry to say that I have never heard of her name, not until today when I picked up 'Reader's Digest' in my university library. She wrote in a new column in the January 2010 edition, entitled 'Idealism vs Realism'.

Here is what she has written...

Many years ago, I had lofty goals for two different domains; the first for myself, the second for the world. As a young, newly published and ambitious writer, I wanted to scale the literary heights and take my place among the world's most widely read and best-loved writers! As a young teacher, I wanted to inspire the girls and boys facing me every morning with their neat school uniforms and eager, trusting faces, to go forth and change the world!

Alas, the reality has fallen far short of the ideal in both domains. Although I have succeeded in getting internationally published, I am nowhere in the big league. As for my students, as far as I know, the majority of them are too preoccupied with making a good living and ensuring that their children attain the same material success to have other goals. I have since of course realised that in the imperfect world we live in, idealism often has given way to realism, that indeed dreams do sometimes shatter painfully against the hard realities of day-to-day existence.

There are two main reasons for this. Firstly, idealists are often blissfully unaware of their own limitations, and hence, of the considerable gap between their actual talents and the envisioned goal. This is particularly true in one's youth, a time of life when the body is strong, the heart hopeful, and the spirit hopelessly romantic.

Secondly, idealists forget that they live in a world of great complexity, flux and change. Mind-boggling advances in technology, occurring almost on a daily basis, impact on virtually every sphere of human activity and decision-taking, from making a living to taking a public stand on social and moral values. This means that the individual has to continually adjust to these changes - or simply lose out.

Adjustment invariably means compromise, which leads to disenchantment and disillusionment. While some young idealists choose to abandon their dreams and devote their energies to the practicalities of securing a good job, raising a family and generally advancing in the world, others continue to cling to their dreams of social, religious, moral, cultural or political transformation, often living in self-imposed exile at the fringes of society.

So is there a place for the idealist in the world today? Isn't it much better to be a realist? Indeed, is there a choice at all, since we live in a world that is daily coping with the ever present threats of terrorism, tsunamis and natural disasters, pandemics and financial turmoil? In an atmosphere of such uncertainty, high ideals of political freedom, incorruptible leadership, business ethics and personal integrity must seem too abstract or simply unworkable when set against the urgencies of jobs, security and sheer survival.

Now I strongly maintain that despite the seeming irrelevance in a pragmatically oriented world, idealism has a very important, indeed necessary role to play in human affairs, the reason being - human nature is able to move forward only in the presence of goals. We inevitably slide back as soon as these are removed.

We are, in reality, creatures of instinct. We need the guidance of well thought-out and well-articulated principles that constitute the essence of ideals. At their most basic level, then, ideals are no more than the laws operating in every civilised society. In this sense, idealism and realism are not mutually exclusive, but actually compatible with each other.

Ideals in their highest and most glorious forms are a powerful reminder of what human beings are capable of achieving, a powerful stimulus to the human spirit to transcend the limitations of man's life on earth.

It is this transcendental power of the creative mind and the ever-active imagination that uniquely defines our species. Without ideals, there would be no great explorers, inventors, artists or revolutionaries, no movers and shakers to transform and renew society.

But what if ideals, being all about perfection, are unachievable, since we are all imperfect creatures? So what?! Even if we are not perfectible, we are improvable, and that is exactly what ideals are all about.

I really like her clear explanation about idealism and realism. They are just so straight to the point. I was like nodding my head all the way while reading. I think I'll start to read her published work soon. =)